I used it once when I was young and under verbal assault. I don’t remember what  the insult was. I do remember thinking, “Yah, the magic little ditty? It isn’t doing anything for me.”

Imagine, I grew up a lover of words. A shaper. One of the reasons is because words were very important to me. English was not m y first language. I had to learn it to keep up, to belong, to be safe and to be the same. Each word added to my arsenal, my power to cope with what was around me.

At a reunion, some 15 years after high school, our class got together casually in a private dining room at Hy’s Steak Loft in Winnipeg. It was a small class and then not everyone came. So, we had the luxury of going round one long rectangular table to introduce ourselves.

Not by name, of course. We knew that, unless someone needed to say they married and swapped names. Only one had hyphenated his to include his wife’s name.

We spoke of our life experiences since…And I sat in a room of doctors and lawyers and dietitians who became lawyers and other professionals. I think the “lowliest”  was a social worker.

Then, there was me. A writer, publicist, event producer, not yet a teacher or coach.

At the mingle after dinner in that room, we caught up one to one. One cute, short, ‘looking like he never aged a minute since the last sock hop’, doctor smiled with his iconic double dimples and said, ” I wish I could do what you do. To be creative and to do something different every day. Even just for a while.”

“I wish I could switch incomes with you, just for that same while,” I quipped back.

Mostly, I said that to this sweet man who was the city’s top emergency room doctor at the time and beloved and respected by his grateful students, to make him feel better. I thought I saw overwhelm in his eyes. Maybe a desire for even a small swim into creativity and away from his life and death duties and all his many responsibilities including finding time for self and for family.

We both laughed.

Maybe he didn’t know, or remember that in school, in our formative years all I wanted was to be average, and from an average family situation. Like him. Like the others who had been born in Canada and had reasonably aged parents. Parents who drove car pools and came to stuff and knew the culture.

“Spotting and celebrating the different” has been a talent and sensitivity that’s been great for my business. As a writer, a public relations strategist and creator of unique marketing materials, it’s been a gift.

Still, “being different” comes with a cost and its value isn’t always instantly known.

Shane Koyczan, a Canadian poet and writer, and spoken word artist, recently matched his words to a vibrant animation.

At first you might think it’s about bullying. I saw that it was the balm to being a little bit different.. in life and perhaps, in just a particular way, or one special moment in a group or in time.

See what you think:

Learn more about Shane Koyczan.

And if his name sounds familiar, you might recall his performance of his work “We Are More”, at the Opening Ceremonies of the 2010 Winter Olympics in the city I am now based on, Vancouver, Canada.

Purim is the feast and carnival-like celebration marking the saving of a people in Persia, the precursor of modern-day Iran.

The story, as told in the Book of Esther or Megillah (scroll in Hebrew) takes place as King Ahasuerus of Persia, who ruled 485-486 BCE, decreed death to all Jews in his kingdom. The plot and all its machinations were spearheaded by the episode’s villain, Haman, a kind of viceroy.

Same agenda, different epoch.

Purim, however, brings welcome joy. Fun and hope come through customs that begin with the obligation of hearing the Megillah and the tale of being saved from extermination. Not an unusual theme in Jewish history, but its celebration is unprecedented in its form – a total carnival and rituals reconnect individuals to each other and their community.

Premise and the plot

The story’s hero is Esther, a beautiful young Jewish woman living in Persia, raised by her cousin Mordecai.

The villain is Haman. He’s risen in the ranks, naturally, by being an arrogant, egotistical adviser to the king. He has a serious hate on for Mordecai because the latter refusing to bow to him.

This perception of a slight sets off events such as Haman’s dastardly plot to destroy all of this man’s people, the Jews.

In a speech whose libelous variations have been echoed throughout the history of man and especially of the Jews, Haman tells the king, “There is a certain people scattered abroad and dispersed among the peoples in all the provinces of your realm. Their laws are different from those of every other people’s, and they do not observe the king’s laws; therefore it is not befitting the king to tolerate them.” Esther 3:8.

The king gives Haman carte blanche to carry out the dastardly deeds.

The date of utter and complete destruction is set by casting “lots,” the Hebrew word for this method of rolling the die, or lottery, gives us the name Purim. The date falls on the 13th day of the Hebrew month of Adar (more on the ‘lunacy’ of this date below).

Spoiler alert: Esther’s life purpose gets her not to a nunnery but to a harem where she is destined to intercede on behalf of her people and foil Haman’s evil plot.

She didn’t volunteer her identity as a member of the tribe as she entered the house of Ahasuerus, King of Persia. Legend has it that Esther’s great beauty catapulted her from a beauty contest to Queen of the castle, eventually, but the woman had to have both game and personality to carve out a special place in that crowd.

Feasts and fasts are the usual expression by most traditional and agrarian peoples. The fast of Esther is observed for a day before everyone runs amok to remember that she fasted for three days in prayer and preparation for her most auspicious moment.

At great personal peril, she ultimately agrees to speak to the king on behalf of her people. The previous queen, Vashti, after all had gotten her head lopped off for disobedience, which opened the royal vacancy.

The consequences of coming into the king’s presence without being summoned could be death

Love and some kind of wonderful prevails. The king rescinds the country-wide genocidal decree. Haman and his 10 equally vile and treacherous sons are hanged on the gallows originally prepared for Mordecai.

Celebrations now occur on the 14th Day of Adar, as this was the day after the intended destruction. Jews take this partying seriously. As seriously as they take their leap years, which on the lunar calendar yield an extra month from time to highly scientific time. No fools, in those years, the positive and joyous party month of Adar is doubled. Purim is celebrated in Adar 11 so that Purim is always one month before Passover. Good deal!

Drink Up!

What would a social celebration be without the lubricant of drink to toast a good outcome?

Lots of “l’chaim”, the word means to life and is what people say as bottoms go up. How many bottoms? On this holiday only, Jews are commanded to drink to the point of confusing the name of the villain Haman and hero Mordechai. Imagine!

Purim Party Participant Must Do’s:

Hear the full reading of the Book of Esther – It’s not too long. I took my kids to it annually and we stood in our costumes and listened to the rabbi, who was last seen dressed as the lion from the Wizard of Oz. No one expired from heat or exhaustion.

Dress up in costume; fun for everyone is the goal. After the reading, families and community members usually head with their quirky, cute or crazy costumes to a carnival-style party. It features games, food and fun.

Megillah, which means scroll, is how the Book of Esther is referred to. In the Yiddish language you might hear someone lament hearing another’s whole long drawn out tale as, “I got the whole megillah. (the English variation is ‘magilla.’”

Stomp, boo, hiss and rattle “gragerz” or metallic noisemakers to blot out the name of the villain, Haman every time it is mentioned in the service. That’ll keep folks alert.

Eat, drink and be merry. According to the Talmud, a person is required to drink until he cannot tell the difference between “cursed be Haman” and “blessed be Mordecai,” though opinions differ as to exactly how drunk that is.

Send gifts of food or drink, and make gifts to charity. The sending of gifts of food and drink is referred to as “shalach manos” (lit. sending out portions).

Ashkenazic Jews, the wing of the tribe I belong to, indulge in triangular fruit filled cookies called “hamentaschen” (lit. Haman’s pockets). They are supposed to represent Haman’s three-cornered hat (recipe below).

People also perform plays and parodies called “Purim Spiels” and to hold beauty contests.

Go forth my friends, eat and drink and remember that to any looming storm, may come a celebratory and happy ending, or beginning to a party.

Oh. Yes, the promised recipe for “osnei Haman” (literally, Haman’s Ears in Hebrew) or the super fun to make “hamentaschen” (Yiddish for ‘his’ pockets).

I just buy mine now with fillings of prunes, or poppy seed, dates or apricots and you can do the same or make them. The short cut is using a pre-made filing or jam. The cookie dough comes courtesy of Malky Bitton, wonderful woman teacher, mom and wife of the rabbi at the Chabad centre near me.

Recipe

Preheat oven to 350°

Mix together:
4 eggs
1 cup white sugar
½ cup oil
1 tsp vanilla
2 Tbsp frozen orange juice concentrate
½ tsp cinnamon

Whisk together, then add to above mixture:
3 ½ cups flour
2 ½ tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt

• Roll out dough to approximately ¼ inch thickness, adding flour if necessary.
• Cut out circles using glass or circle shaped cookie cutter.
• Place a little bit of filling in centre of circle.
• Bring the bottom half of the circle up to the middle of the circle, then bring the two sides to meet in the middle of the circle. Pinch.
• Place on cookie sheet and glaze with beaten egg.
• Bake for 25-30 minute or until golden brown.

Helena’s tip from my days of yore in my family kitchen: Refrigerate batter overnight or at least a few hours. Roll as thin as you can without getting holes in the batter (roll it between two sheets of wax paper lightly dusted with flour for best results).

Hey!  Eat up and make up with someone today for better times the rest of this year.

$20 bucks Canadian

A picture no longer represents a thousand words. And so it is with our Canadian Maple Leaf, even when it lies softly nestled in the green zone of our new $20 polymer based bill.

It represents 35 million people going about their every day lives, making change in the world.  The new bill, however, has short changed our identity. In this article in the Globe and Mail we find out our new bills depict a Norwegian Maple not native to Canada or her glorious forests.

A symbol counts for a lot in our society. Look around and you’ll see more pictograms. Graphic symbols capture an entire instruction manual for instant knowledge on what to do. Push? Pull? Flush? Stop?

Symbols leap over barriers of language and drag entire cultures into public, world wide consciousness.  We look for the assuring symbol when we shop, or verify directions.

Symbols mean speed of understanding – whether moving about in our daily lives or speeding on the information highway.

They are the shorthand to a larger, fuller story.

And so it is with our beloved Maple Leaf – the centrepoint of our flag and one of the strongest points of identification for our nation at home and afar.

Others have eagles, lions, crowns, stars, crescent moons – soaring high and proudly announcing who they are.

I. Am. Canadian. And, I have a leaf fluttering in the wind.  Let’s get it right..   Let’s NOT stylize it… It’s not that complex to begin with, and it appears to be as fragile as the Canadian identity it symbolizes.

Say it isn’t so, on the mistake on Canadian dough, eh?

I’ve come to love our blue $5 bills and orange 50s and last time I saw a wad of 100s I think they were an earthy brown, or were they a glorious flag like red?

I’ve endured the taunts of  ”funny money” when I tried to use our coloured paper bills to buy stuff we used to covet in the US.

We plug our meters with “Loonies” and shop proudly with our ‘Twonies”, now please, let’s get our hockey flag waving, O Canada song  inspiring botanical symbol right.  let’s do it before we enact the decision to banish our penny soon and while we still have some ‘cents’.

More detail and weird truths at CBC with video clip

Proud to be Canadian and grateful for the freedom of the press, whether it’s our money or our expression.

Imagine 47 years to assemble the words, that lasted but a few moments and captured the desire for her privacy, developed over all those years.

She chose to express her single state, her sexual preferences and what she values and yet NOT say the actual words that Hollywood has been waiting for her to say.

This is as much a function of a rich vocabulary as it is the clever scripting of her  acceptance speak.  When you have more words to draw on, to work in your power, you have choices.  You can be clever, funny and refined and yet say whatever you need to, with confidence over the flow of the “411″ or information you offer up about yourself.

The message is that of boundaries and control of her public image, and the extent of access to her, or your audience for that matter.

What Jodie Foster actually said is caught in short quotes here for you to read between the lines. She spoke about her own life on her own terms and some would say directly.

Obfuscation. Redirection. Bafflegab. Doublespeak. 

All of these are variants on communication expressly designed to say something yet leave confusion, and at times, exhaustion in its wake?

They are used often by politicians, government workers, policy folks and publicists whose work calls upon them to buy time, leave doubt or appear harmless.

Have you experienced this kind of ‘drive by’ dialogue?

I applied the wealth of my vocabulary in a personal chat on  some public forum well before social media as we now know it.

A chat partner asked me to comment on a sensitive political issue overseas. While we were both North American citizens, I knew that my answer about something on the other side of the world would definitely affect our budding friendship from afar, online.

I responded, cautiously.

Then, after a short pause, which can feel like eternity on the screen he typed in his response.

“You’ve just typed for 10 minutes and filled two screens in our conversation, because I had to scroll to get to the end of it. And, you’ve said nothing. Damn. I want to learn how to do that.”

True story. He was studying law at night in Los Angeles.

Posture speaks volumes

When your momma told you to pay attention to your posture, did you listen?  Now’s your time  to straighten up and increase your success. Our piece on posture today addresses how you stand in that best conversation spacing we discussed last time.

Workplace studies have shown that taller people are seen as more capable, positive, desirable, successful and especially confident. Tall men have even been proven to earn more than their shorter buddies.

Even in the wilds, animals claim power by making themselves look bigger. What can this mean for your human footing at work?

Watch and you’ll see how animals fan out feathers, expand their wings, stretch their necks, or stand with arms raised while they strut in a wide gait. Being more imposing can get you the girl and also get you out of a scary situation.

What’s our lesson here?

It’s about the power of space we take up and how we appear in it. Standing tall, no matter your actual height, in a social or workplace situation will impress and influence people around you – from the moment you enter the space you share visually, and physically.

It works for women, too.

Did you ever notice how many tall women still choose to wear high heeled shoes?   Why? Because those extra few centimeters accumulate another layer of admiration and trust. It may stem from early times where tall people were perceived as more able to protect the tribe, but it’s a vestige of image that is still with us. (We’ll talk about what else those high heels signal biologically in another segment!)

In my life, as an above average woman, according to the Canadian standards for heights of males and females, it’s made all the difference. It has been an advantage and a sometimes challenge.

My mother told me to stand up straight, to hold my head high and to be proud of my presence. Today, we might say “own” it.

Good advice at anytime. What made it remarkable was that this tip was delivered and accepted when I was not yet 14 years old and already 173 cm tall. Imagine how just addressing my posture, in all its awkward height of 5.8, especially for an early teens female, enabled me to convert it to an effective tool, for life.

How you carry your body signals an attitude. Good posture cannot be defined by a rigid formula; it is seen as the natural and comfortable upright bearing of the body in persons that are normal and healthy.

This means that you hold yourself naturally and not painfully straight when standing. When seated you maintain a comfortably straight back. Good standing and sitting posture projects your energy. It not only keeps your organs happy and allows your muscles to be efficient, it also make you both less tired and less tired looking to others.

** Energy and confidence attract people and can do the same for your salary and social standing.

Body language for networking

SuperTips

Stand tall within your own body frame. Be balanced and elongate your neck and limbs.   Shoulders should face your conversation partner.

 Ensure that the rest of your body follows to show attention and respect for the interaction.
 Shoulders atop a good posture “enlarge” your presence and enhance your confidence.

Chin lifted.

 Lift your chin and with it your spirits.
 Also position your eyes higher. This gives a positive “up” expression.
Have you ever noticed how confident people command power and attention with their physical presence alone?

Think: Royals. Try it till it becomes natural. Chins up. Shoulders back. Eyes up and forward. Exhale and stretch your skeleton just a little up and straighter.

VIP The posture we take on for our bodies affects others’ impressions of us and also the messages of respect and confidence we send ourselves.

We all know that a handshake is usually your first act of connection when meeting other people. Well, it’s a first after offering your smile or engaging in eye contact. Those are elements we’ll speak about in upcoming columns.

Your handshake slices through the SPACE between you and your intended conversation partner. It is the physical connection point between you and others. It conveys messages and meanings and is a real, physical bridge between people.

Handshakes start business and community connections

What to do after the introduction?

How close do you, should you, can you stand to someone?
Yes, even that space between you is not neutral in terms of messages sent or received successfully. Where you stand in relation to your partner in possibility can help create a positive impression and opening up dialogue, or, it can crowd and cloud.

From a different culture? Chances are you’ll be sensitive and even more curious as to what is acceptable. Even when people ‘seem’ to be from the same culture, as the  example of Anglophone Canadians who might be born in the same country, may still have a different sense of personal space, region to region!
Try these guidelines for where to “take your stand.” You’ll allow conversation to flow and opportunity to open.

The spacing, in centimeters, is taken from suggestions by Max Eggert, an Australian psychologist with an international consulting practice in human resource management. I’ve also kept the names of the categories of interaction, although Eggert refers to them as ‘zones.’

Intimate space
This is our first human contact, universally. Here is where we kiss, hug, whisper and share each other’s unique personal spaces, even our aromas.

It’s for parents, children and partners in our private life. Space Place: 15-45 cm. Note: if you can feel your conversation partner’s heart thumping, you are too close unless you mean to be attached to their body.

Personal space
At this distance you can easily see and also reach out and touch someone, but only in the usual proper public parts: hands, arms and shoulders.

This assumes you are face to face so your Space Place is: 46 cm – 1.3 meters.

If you are huddled in conversation, side by side, you can be closer and other parts can be touched. Think being directed to get into the picture of a group photo.

Social space
At 1.3 – 3.5 meters, this position counts on eye contact and voices loud enough to interact at a comfortable distance.

It’s friendly, but because voices are kept a bit loud, despite being close enough to whisper or speak intimately, it signals a formality. It’s where most of us function in the workplace.

Public space
Have you noticed that as you approach someone in a hallway or sidewalk, you move into the social zone and out of the public space?

Indeed, “public” is at 3.6 meters or more. At this distance we can recognize each other’s smile and that it as a signal that we can safely come closer and by invitation.

What do you think? Does your culture or occupation affect where you stand?

VIP Very important personal space tip: space between people speaks non-verbally whether we accept or reject someone. It even signals our encouragement of the talker or their topic.

How we stand in that space, smile or are seen by others is the stuff of upcoming columns because they make all the difference to our success.

Photo credit: dapete on Wikipedia

If you are an avid business networker, professional fundraiser, executive or in demand social butterfly, this body part is capable of transmitting and receiving important messages to, for and by you.

Your first act of connection in most of our business and social circles is the handshake. All that you are: confident, shy, liberal thinker, intellectual or even neurotic, some across in your handshake. Since it all happens so quickly, let’s get right to it.

How to Shake Hands – best practices and what you project

• Maintain eye contact and you will project confidence
• Smile fully and you will convey friendliness
• Extend your hand first and you will display personal power, confidently
• Grasp the other person’s hand firmly but shake for only about 3 seconds so as not to be overly friendly on a first meeting.

Super tip:
Stand tall. Looking tall is essential at any actual height and it helps portray a confident look. Stand upright when you greet someone. Putting your shoulders back naturally will also elongate you and you will relay calm and control.

Here’s a set of tips from my many years experience as a professional meeting and event planner. Be ready to smile and extend a hand spontaneously. This means you should move your food and drink to your left hand and free your right for greetings.

And this from my special office across from my General Manager’s corner office, separated only by the executive washroom where one could hear whose hands would be safe to shake: Dry your hands well before heading out to work a room.

Got sweaty hands? Run cool water over them before you begin your networking moves around a room. Men can easily slip a tissue into their right hand suit pocket, just in case.

Comfort in initiating the handshake is important, so carry on as a dry, calm and confident conversationalist.

Measure Up
Compare your habits and the tips above with what you observe in the next few weeks.

Test your new insights especially as you watch the news. See how political people, dignitaries and you might even sneak a peek at how Royals move in the act of receiving and gracing others with greetings.

Try to model these insider tips in your own movement through your own business and social circles:

World leaders Begin, Sadat and Carter shaking hands

Dominate the exchange by gently turning the vertical grip sideways. You’ll see this when world leaders such as the Russian and American presidents shake hands and vie for position where the back of their hand is visibly on top. If the other will not yield, you may see them covering the joint clasp with their left hand, regaining top position Check it!

Right has might. In our culture, the more your right hand shows, the stronger your position. Notice this when powerful people get their photos snapped while shaking hands. An advanced move on this is moving the left hand up to the bicep of the other person’s hand and patting or holding it while you shake hands and establish who’s got the grip on control!

VIP Very important point for Women – Be aware that men will often try any of the above ‘power positions’ on you. Lock your elbows in a right angle as much as possible so they can’t take your arms for a ‘spin around your personal zone’. You can push his arm right back into his own zone easily. He won’t have his arms locked because he will not expect it.

Brief eye contact, sans smile, will quickly re-establish your own space and power.

Upcoming: Pointers on maintaining correct personal space in a conversation. 

Ready to shake your hands with success? You might like this A to G tip sheet that reviews the basics of making a  good first impression. 

It was on this day I returned the DVD in which Clare Danes represented the courageous life of Temple Grandin, a brilliant visual thinker. The film’s tag line reads: “Autism gave her a vision, she gave it a voice.” Having seen and lived Temple’s life  on film, I gleaned far greater clarity about my approach to communication and her experiences gave me insight to more options for getting messages across well.

Perhaps it was due to it having been explained in both the unexpected dialogue and visuals, plainly and honestly that we are reminded that others hear, feel, see and understand in their own patterns.

As she herself says in the opening scene of the film, “My name is Temple Grandin. I’m not like other people. I see things in pictures and I connect them.”

How many of us ‘see’ our world and the words we use in pictures and shades, angles and positions that might differ from the representations held as correct by others?

This does no make  us disabled in the sense we might think of the 15% of the world’s population, or one billion people, who do live with disabilities. The magnitude of the daily challenges they  face is great, yet we are wise to consider their perspective in striving for the goal we all share.

To be seen. To be heard. To be understood.

Look around your world.

Who in it might benefit from direct language? What about your awareness of all the colourful  colloquialisms we like to bandy about? You know, the  local or “in”, verbal choices that people from another cultural language  occupation, demographic or region might not ‘get’.

For messages we hope will explain our position, influence an opinion or buying choice,  we must first consider how we send our message and how it is caught and filtered by someone, en route to understanding.

The movie is worth seeing. It has many wondrous moments that entertain as well as educate, and that give hope to us all.

To learn more about disabilities on this day set aside to respect our fellow planetary partners in living fully on earth, why not start at the WHO ?

Please leave a comment on the communication challenges you have helped others with, or that you have found a way to overcome, yourself.

If I can help you with your own conversation skills or networking know-how, contact me and we can discuss the steps you can take to be the most effective communicator you can be.

Do you value your vote enough to show up 50 times at the circuit clerk’s office to try to register?

In an interview about his book “Count Them One by One: Black Mississippians Fighting for the Right to Vote,  retired Judge, Gordon Martin Jr. shares stories of such struggles, and how they were overcome.  

Martin A. Gordon Jr.

In this year, the  seemingly endless Republican primaries race provided daily fodder for news outlets, pundits and the purveyors of comedy. It continues with the memes of misplaced and ill advised metaphors and catchy sayings that are comic, at first.

It’s interesting times inside one of the world’s super power’s ballot box.

Presidential candidates and their running mates represent the Catholic faith, Mormons, white establishment America and an incumbent President that Americans would never have dreamed of – a man of African ancestry going for a 2nd term in the highest office of the land. And still, there will be those who do not exercise their franchise, and come out to vote.

Imagine,  a time where the desire to be counted and heard within the democratic system was so critical, men like Richard Boyd attempted to register 50 times before he was granted the right to vote.

We are guided in our blink back in time by Gordon A. Martin Jr., a retired Massachusetts trial judge.

His book “Count Them One by One: Black Mississippians Fighting for the Right to Vote,” accurately and respectfully chronicles the story of the people who challenged an unfair voting registration process and forever changed America.

Martin enters the core story as it takes place in Mississippi in 1961. It revolves around the U.S. Justice Department lawsuit against voting registrar Theron Lynd who was empowered by the times to arbitrarily deny the franchise, or the right to vote, to blacks.

At that time, 30 percent of the population in Forrest County, Miss. was black, yet only 12 of 7,500 were on the voting rolls. To register, these 12 souls braved community abuses, obstacles including denial of their rights and the threat of losing their jobs, if not their lives.

“One can understand intellectually what denial of the vote to black people was – but the experience of getting to know, hard-working people, some veterans, many with advanced degrees often in lesser jobs; the real toll can only be imagined,” Martin said.

The case of United States v. Lynd was the first trial resulting in the conviction of a southern registrar for contempt of court.

“The Justice Department pursued cases throughout the Deep South. In 1962, I prepared the first big case to go to trial in Mississippi, Martin said. The case was brought against Forrest County Registrar Theron Lynd. He was the first Southern registrar found guilty of contempt because he continued to reject qualified black citizens despite the direct order of the U.S. Court of Appeals.

“I was like so many young people, just out of school and starting out in life with a new job. I was a young lawyer who got thrown into a particular case, underpaid and entrusted. I had little experience and certainly no time to think,” Martin said.

As a newly-minted lawyer, he traveled to Hattiesburg, the county seat of Forrest County, from Washington, D.C. to help shape the federal case against Lynd. Something drastic needed to be done about the disfranchisement of black voters.

He met with and prepared the government’s 16 black witnesses who had been refused registration. He found white witnesses despite lack of access to records or cooperation of the registrar’s office and was one of the lawyers during the trial. He wasn’t alone of course. Not only was he working under a section head, who supervised his learning experience, but this case had the ear and interest of powers at the top.

Fifty years ago, the U.S. Attorney General, Robert F. Kennedy, walked into the office of his acting assistant attorney general of the Civil Rights Division, John Doar. It was Kennedy’s first day on the job and he wanted to know what was going on, what lawsuits were pending, how the right to vote for blacks would be achieved.

Doar, a Wisconsin Republican, had a history in the federal administration with the Civil Rights Division, first in the Eisenhower administration and then in action as a key figure in the Kennedy Justice Department.

Together, Kennedy and Doar noticed patterns of inequity on the map of the South. Colored pins on the map graphically pointed to trouble in Forrest County. That trouble began in 1958 when Theron Lynd was elected registrar. All four candidates in that election had made clear their goal to preserve the essentially all-white electorate of the county.

Process towards progress

Three years into his office, 16 blacks from widely diverse backgrounds were ready to testify against Lynd and his tactics to ignore, frustrate and deny the ministers, factory workers, shopkeepers, teachers with master’s degrees from such universities as Wisconsin, Columbia, Cornell and NYU to try to register.

The risks were real. One of the leaders of the black community, Vernon Dahmer, was murdered by the White Knights of the Klan for his role in voter registration. Yet others like Huck Dunagin, manager of Hercules Powder Co.’s steadfast support guaranteed that workers seeking to register would not lose their jobs.
Most of the witnesses who came forward worked for that company.

One of the tools Lynd had at his disposal to reject bids for registration was the literacy test. The test had not even been raised with white voters until 1961. They just went in and voted or were given a simple section of the state constitution to interpret. Black would be registrants were asked irrelevant questions or required to recall impossibly complex passages of law. The legal team, without records, presented 16 contrasting white witnesses to verify the inequity.

Witnesses testified for three days during the trial. The federal judge allowed a 30-day continuance but did not issue an injunction. This failure opened the door to appeal and the Court of Appeals agreed and entered its own order, barring discrimination. Lynd, emboldened by his history of steady abuse of process violated the order within days.

The team brought three more trials, two for contempt, just to deal with that one county. At that time, change could only come with a county-by-county battle. From the realization that such an effort was ineffective, the Voting Rights Act of 1965 was brought in to abolish the literacy test and authorized federal registrars to step in.

It took till the end of the decade before the shameful Southern racial voting discrimination was eradicated along with the individual and non-standard state control of the process in place at that time.

“Civil rights were not a priority for President Kennedy, as a legislator, and he was slow in coming to it as Chief Executive. But he did, but he did,” Martin said.

“The goal of the Kennedy administration was to provide the right to vote to black people on the pragmatic view that once African-Americans could vote, politicians would pay attention to them,” Martin writes in his book.

In Part 2, Martin’s talks about his insights on the current wave of voter participation and identification.

Hear Judge Martin talk about the 1961 struggle for voting rights by black, and his book “Count Them One by One.”

We all, regardless of the culture we were raised in, “speak” or experience body language fluently. We all ‘read’ or interpret movements and gestures of the face and body and attach meaning to them and so receive a message.

To be truly effective communicators we must also be aware of our own body language.

Why is body language literacy important?

• Body language completes the meaning of what is being said.
• Body language helps us understand other people better.
• Understanding body language adds to creating successful relations with people in our social or business circles.
• Body language can indicate what a person will do next.
Imagine how useful knowing body language is in sales strategy, in controlling our own impressions and messages to others and in helping us fit in, through non verbal communication, successfully.

Peter Drucker, the famous management consultant, once said: “The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.”

When you can control your own body language, while also being aware of others’ messages, your advantage in any situation is at its greatest.

How reliable are gestures?

Each gesture tells us a lot. The body doesn’t lie and people, well, we just aren’t wired to NOT communicate.

We transmit, and pick up messages all the time. Some folks are more tuned in and some people are more in control of the messages their bodies transmit to others.

Relying on a single body signal, however, may mislead you as to its meaning. It might be ‘off’ its true meaning due to an individual’s state of mind at that moment, their physical situation or even their culture.

Read a person more accurately by relying on “clusters” of body language information.

Clusters are different gestures, movements and behaviours, that when taken together, reveal the truth.

For example:
We’ve all experienced someone not looking us in the eyes. We may have felt they are withholding not only respectful attention but perhaps also truth.

How can body language clusters help us determine whether our conversation partner is distracted by something or someone more interesting, or whether they are avoiding our eyes because they are lying?
Experts would encourage you to notice other body movements that taken together point to the truth of someone’s intentions.

Check if they exhibit 3 or 4 of these additional behaviours?
- Blink more – Clinch their eyebrows – Cough dryly
- Move their body suddenly – Move hands to mouth -Change pitch and volume of voice
- Smile far more often

Reading signals in groupings or clusters is more accurate and can even over rule our cultural differences such as smiling, and eye contact which may be different from our own expectations.

VIP: Take note this week of the people around you. See if the clusters of movement, ticks, body postures and facial expressions they beam out match the message they are saying or representing. You’ll sharpen your observation powers and gain awareness of your own body language.

Next time, we’ll look at why some say the first impressions in touch are all in the wrists, when we explore The Handshake..   for success in social and business settings.