Life Rules: You Are the Average of the 5 People Closest To You

If we are the average of the 5 people closest to us, I need an upgrade.

This warning that we are the average of the 5 people closest to us is well-known in circles dedicated to helping us find the clues to success in life, work and community.

For me, since I chose to lessen my workload while suffering for a year or more and then waiting for surgery, and then letting it dwindle down to a single contract, ‘my 5’ have now dwindled also.

That magical cohort is now among the residents of my apartment building and therefore within physical and visual range. It is a limited assortment of possibilities.

My work team is still marginally in touch. A reality, I am told that is not common to most people’s experience of ‘retirement’. So, I consider myself fortunate to have the occasional text message or quick video call to confirm work on my now tiny contribution to a work family of members I respect and like!

I am not prepared to accept my current situation.

Mobility challenges, changes in financial resources and ageing have contributed to my being more cut off from previous stimuli and forward momentum. The need for intellectual stimulation and keeping up with news, trends and general zeitgeist is still possible through technology and some committed attention by me. That casual conversation and spontaneously overheard bits and laughter over something momentarily funny or the intimacy of a repeated pattern shared in good humour is harder to snatch out of the air in a silo of home or survival routines.

The actual family that is closest to me are my siblings. They are both senior to me, in vastly different and I feel more secure circumstances. They are also located in another region 2 time zones away.

2025 resolutions are already underway.

They arrive like the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future. Often when I am distracted, unexpectedly and sometimes inconveniently. It all began as my body healed from early summer surgery and then the happy return of my mind in a steady and discernable way.

Liberated from 24/7 pain coupled with my preoccupation with all the many workarounds, I am now free to move from simply surviving to thriving mode in my new space.

The missing parts and the newly desired parts are clearer.

Intentions to get out more and farther afield to do more than get basic provisions, medical appointments and library pick-ups are right up there with attending events such as concerts, celebratory gatherings, learning events and new people of substance who might have more to discuss than their long list of ailments.

Creative personal projects are no longer relegated to the cobwebs and new prospects loom larger.

A plan will materialize. Stay tuned.