Herstory Repeating Itself

In my desire to tell the whole story, I am telling none of it. “Cooked in the squat,” as legendary salesman and motivational speaker Zig Zigler said. The analogy, as I heard it long ago on cassette tape while driving to business meetings, was about a mixture formed with all the ingredients. The lumps of dough failed to rise in the oven and were cooked, as he said, in the squat—not taking on their full potential and half baked. 

The enormity of details and the choice of topics keep me stuck in that squat. Wanting to fulfill my calling to tell the stories of my family and to share my life experience, I squat, remembering and ruminating. I imagine excellent opening sentences. Sometimes, I manage to handwrite or type snippets and catchy headings. Next, I consider that I have had this thought before, and there is a pattern, so now I think it deserves a series. I might open a file deciding where to save it. Does it need a new file directory, or does it fit into something I have already started and saved?

I searched in my already saved documents. Oh, multiple entries come up highlighted in yellow in the search results box.
Proof I have had this brilliant idea before. It is time-stamped and appears in a couple of categories of storage and again in the backup.

I am in the word weeds. I want to publish and share my stories. The heat of discomfort rises in my body and overwhelms me.

It takes me back to that dark, warm place, where I sit formed from all the ingredients and like a lump of dough squatting. I started to rise to the task. My ‘why’ was firm. I write the context of the tale I tell readers. Then I get cooked in the squat.

How to rise beyond is in the act of doing exactly what I must overcome. Write. Copiously and consistently. Publish on any platform. Repeat the action and overcome the herstory of stuckness.